This is very probably the final script as it's completely variable, depending on the situation. It involves creating the impression that you are an intellectual force to be dealt with, and is especially good for situations involving a teacher that thinks you are anything less than perfect.
[Teacher insults pupils by offering an inkling that they could
possibly be fallible]
Pupils: [think] A-ha!
A: So, B, how did that interview with Cambridge
go?
B: Oh I didn't have the interview in the end.
They just told me to come along when I feel like it,
remember?
A: Oh yeah! I remember that! Wasn't that in the
same letter as the apology?
B: Yeah, that's right. I can't believe they had
the nerve to ask me to go and study with them at the age of 13! I
said, "I'll come when I want to, alright?"
A: [laughs] Yeah, I remember that! So what are
you going to study?
B: I don't know yet. I'll see what turns up. I
quite fancy Advanced Psycho-Mathamaticoragology, but it might be a
bit easy, num'sein?
A: Well I don't know. I hear Einstein managed to
do it, so you might as well give it a go.
B: Yeah, but Einstein isn't exactly anything to
be going by, is he? I mean, only seven PhD's? What is he
thinking... trying to infringe on our prodigal cerebrality?
[laughs]
A: Ha. I'm not sure but I think I might be a bit
too much of a hesiodic theogony for university. What with Billy G
donating a large percentage of his fortune to me, simply to keep me
interested in studying.
B: Yeah, but how come you're allowed to
completely ignore your GCSE's?
A: Oh come on... you don't know? They don't make
people like us do any work, you know? I mean, when was the last
time you really tried for any of your homeworks? And yet you still
get A**'s.
B: You've got a point, my sanctified paragon of
an acquaintance. Exams aren't for us to be wasting our time with
here.
A: That sounds right. Exactly what the governors
told my parents. Know any good music?
B: Prodigy?
A: No no... my name's A... Oh I see! I completely
misunderstood you there. I must say, that's odd for an intellectual
like me.
B: OK, Ok... but infinite self-referential
devoutational talk isn't getting us anywhere.
A: I concur. Let's go kick some cans or
su'ink.
Teacher: [runs and hides in a corner and fails to
notice the Lynx Flamethrower]