Just how subversive ARE you?

1. Have you ever been to school?

2. Have you ever talked about work whilst the teacher was talking?
3. ... been told off for it?
4. ... been given a DT for it?
5. ... been expelled for it?

6. Have you ever psychologically harmed a member of staff?
7. ... so much that they couldn't return to school?

8. Ever (legitimately) got out of doing a homework?
9. ... ever got out of doing more than two homeworks?
10. ... five homeworks?
11. ... ten homeworks?
12. ... fifty homeworks?
13. ... all homeworks?

14. Ever not done a coursework, but still received the marks for it?
15. ... two courseworks?
16. ... three courseworks?
17. ... five courseworks?
18. ... ALL courseworks?

19. Ever been suspended, and successfully appealed
20. ... twice?
21. ... more than twice?
22. Ever been expelled, and successfully appealed?
23. ... twice?
24. ... thrice?
25. ... more than three times?

26. Ever been to Chemistry?
27. Ever devised an experiment of your own?
28. ... and performed it?
29. ... in front of the teacher?
30. ... and the teacher liked it?
31. Ever sat through a whole lesson, randomly putting things in a bunsen?

32. Ever had a test?
33. ... and done no revision?
34. ... and still got a respectable mark?
35. ... and got the top mark?

36. Ever been to an RPSE lesson?
37. ... and done no work?
38. ... all week?
39. ... all term?
40. ... and still passed the test?

41. Ever missed a lesson and the teacher not cared why?
42. ... because they knew you could catch up on the work?
43. ... because they are biased as hell towards you?

44. Ever been asked for suggestions as to how to run the school?
45. ... in person, by a teacher?
46. ... in person, by the headteacher?
47. Ever been singled out as an 'outstanding student'?
48. ... despite the fact that you do no work?
49. ... despite the fact that you've been expelled one or more times?

50. Ever had the teacher ask you to explain something to a friend?
51. ... a group of friends?
52. ... the whole class?
53. ... while they left for a fag?

54. Ever made an Elite card?
55. ... and had it laminated?
56. ... and used it?
57. ... on a teacher?
58. ... successfully?
59. ... to avoid a detention?
60. ... to avoid suspension?
61. ... to avoid expulsion?

62. Ever organised an official school event without the school knowing?
63. ... at the same time as a real school event?
64. ... in the same location?
65. ... was it more popular than the real one?

66. Ever had a free period in which to do homework, and still not done it?
67. Ever not done a homework, and the teacher delayed the deadline?
68. ... and you still didn't do it?

69. Ever left a coursework to the week before deadline?
70. ... the night before deadline?
71. ... the queue to hand the coursework in?
72. ... and still got respectable marks?

73. Ever corrected a teacher's work?
74. ... in front of the class?
75. ... in front of the whole school?
76. Ever pointed out a fundamental flaw in the topic they're teaching?
77. ... and they've stopped teaching it?

78. Ever received an award for something you didn't consider worthy of one
79. ... two awards?
80. ... three awards?
81. ... four awards?
82. ... five or more awards?

83. Ever been caught reading a subversive website in school?
84. ... and argued for it's validity?
85. ... and won?
86. ... did you write it?
87. Ever written another subversive website?
88. ... and had it busted?
89. ... twice?
90. ... three or more times?
91. ... and had it filtered
92. ... from all schools in the country?
93. ... from a whole ISP?
94. ... from a whole country?
95. ... and it was completely legitimate in the first place?

96. Ever helped the receptionist with her computer when she gets stuck?
97. ... with ulterior motives?

98. Ever taken the purity test?
99. ... in school?
100. ... with a teacher watching?

101. Ever gone into a lesson confident that you know more than the teacher?
102. ... and ended up teaching the class?

103. Ever annoyed a teacher by asking questions?
104. ... relevant questions?
105. ... that they couldn't answer?

106. Ever made the teacher laugh out loud?
107. ... about another pupil?
108. ... who was in the same room?

109. Ever looked a teacher in the eye as you eat under a 'No Eating' sign?
110. ... and they did nothing?
111. ... and a little further down the corridor they busted somebody for eating under a 'No eating' sign?
112. ... and walked back past you and still did nothing?

113. Ever framed a teacher?
114. ... for a serious offence?
115. ... and got them jailed?
116. ... for life?

117. Do you know what SIMS stands for?
118. ... SEN?
119. ... LEA?
120. ... DfEE?
121. ... CATs?

122. Ever stolen a piece of equipment from school, and replaced it with a less valuable one?
123. ... and nobody noticed?

124. ... and this is your main source of income?

125. Ever handed in a homework written in 'l33tsp33k
126. ... and got it marked?

127. Ever made a teacher leave the room three times?
128. ... four times?
129. ... five or more times?

130. Ever called a teacher a nickname that they didn't understand?

131. Ever interpreted the teacher's instructions so you have less work to do?
132. ... so you have no work to do?
133. ... so the teacher has more work to do?

134. Ever tried to improve your score on this test?
135. ... and failed?

136. Ever respected a PE teacher?

137. Ever played Quake in school?
138. ... with more than 8 players?
139. Ever played Illegal Calculator Gambling in a lesson?
140. Ever played Buzzword Bingo with the teacher's words?

141. Ever made a DOK?
142. ... in a lesson?
143. ... in several lessons?
144. ... and it lasted for more than 6 months?
145. ... more than 2 years?
146. ... more than 5 years?

147. Ever read the Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy
148. ... and can quote almost flawlessly from it?
149. ... and can quote flawlessly from it?
150. ... and refer to it in times of need?

151. Ever read Amiga Power?
152. ... religiously?
153. ... and own more than five issues?
154. ... and own more than fifteen issues?
155. ... and own ALL issues?
156. ... and own ALL issues, subscriber letters, coverdisks, gifts, accessories and books?

157. Ever read theweekly.co.uk?
158. ... theonion.com?

159. Ever read 1984, Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451 or The Giant Jam Sandwich?

160. Ever record a lesson on a dictaphone?
161. ... on a videocamera
162. ... for several lessons?
163. ... broadcasting live?
164. ... did you get caught?

165. Do you talk in AdamSpeak?

166. Ever acted out a Jip Script?
167. ... to the last detail?

168. Ever deal warez in school?
169. ... ever use a school PC to download, copy and burn warez?

170. Ever been in #lewis?
171. ... and idled for more than 4 hours?
172. ... more than 8 hours?
173. ... more than a day?
174. ... more than a week?
175. Is your #lewis log more than a megabyte?
176. ... more than a 10Mb?
177. ... more than a 100Mb?
178. ... more than a 1Gb?
179. Is your browser homepage set to Lab6?
180. Do three or more of your quotes appear on the Best of Lewis page?

181. Ever forged a teacher's signature?
182. ... a headteacher's signature?
183. ... for monetary purposes?
184. ... and succeeded?

185. Ever opened a package intended for the school?
186. ... and replaced the contents, and sent it on to the school?

187. Ever said 'Nah Mate'?
188. ... in a complete sentence?

189. Ever got a job with one of the school's contractors?

190. Ever held a protest rally outside the school?
191. ... inside the school?
192. ... during lesson time?
193. ... with more than 50 supporters?
194. ... rallying against the school?

195. Ever sued the school?
196. ... and won?
197. ... and got paid damages?
198. ... and somebody went to jail for it?

199. Ever gained complete control over the school's computer network?
200. Ever gained complete control over the school?

201. Ever taken down a sign and replaced it with a subtely modified one?
202. ... and it stayed up for more than a week?
203. ... and it stayed up for more than a month?
204. ... and it stayed up forever (well, until now, anyway)?

205. Ever sprayed mindless graffiti on the walls?

206. Ever sprayed subtely ironic graffiti in a deserving location?

207. Ever started a rumour about a teacher?
208. ... and something was done about it?

209. Ever had something confiscated?
210. ... and then stolen it back, on the sly?
211. ... and then charged the school for losing it?

212. Ever been given lines?
213. ... and you did them?

214. Ever done a shelf block?
215. ... and somebody has been caught out by it?
216. Ever planted a magnetic strip on a deserving person, so they set off the library alarm?
217. ... and they got busted?
218. ... and they didn't get out of it?
219. Ever done a book domino rally?
220. ... across an entire shelf?
221. ... across several layers of shelves?
222. ... with the shelves themselves (i.e. a Shelf Domino Rally)?
223. Ever rigged a shelf so it collapses when even so much as breathed on?
224. Ever got out of paying a library fine?
225. ... was it more than £5?
226. ... was it more than £10?

227. Ever driven to school and parked across four spaces?
228. Ever repainted the car park so the lines are too small for cars to fit between?

229. Ever poured salt on the school field, so that when it rains, a very large message is spelt out?
230. ... was the message amusingly satirical?

231. Do you insist on wearing the latest, coolest clothes?

232. Ever questioned a teacher's ability to teach?
233. ... in front of the whole class?
234. ... in front of the whole school?

235. Ever had a supply teacher?
236. ... and done work in the lesson?

237. Ever done a Desk Stand?
238. ... for more than 5 minutes?
239. ... for the whole lesson?
240. Ever done laps of the classroom?
241. ... more than 10?
242. ... more than 100?
243. Ever left the lesson without the teacher knowing?
244. ... for more than 10 minutes?
245. ... for more than 30 minutes?
246. ... for the whole lesson?
247. ... and they still didn't know?

248. Ever made up a technical term for a homework?
249. ... and the teacher didn't notice?

250. Ever achieved greater than Level 9 Dis on the Dis Scale?
251. ... and still not been told off for it?

252. Ever tried to see the school rules?
253. ... and been refused access to them?
254. ... and still seen them?

255. Ever had a pack of cards confiscated in the middle of a game?
256. ... with money on it?

257. When somebody asks you the time, do you respond with either "Peak" or "Off-peak"?
258. ... does your watch agree?

259. Are you slowly approaching a state of being where your only response to any kind of statement is "heh"?
260. ... are you there already?