While waiting for our tea to be ready (exams to start) outside the sports hall, it struck us that the similarities between school exams and airlines were not just a coincidence. Although most of us are stuck down in Economy seats with barely a square foot of desk space to lay out literally pounds of equipment and paper, those in the know can procure more luxurious conditions.
A business class candidate, for example, has the option of a window seat and light snacks to be brought on the hour. Scum class can choose to be in a smoking or non-smoking seat, and first class has bi-hourly maid service, a chair that turns into a bed, gold pencils and unmetered use of the mark scheme.
Money is not the only problem with getting these seats, though. Actually finding (or being ConflictOfInterest-ingly related to) somebody corrupt enough to offer them is tricky, so most will be content with simply purchasing a seat that isn't quite so bad as a regular one. These aren't exactly good, but they're better than the worst ones. How many times have you been in a listening test, at the back of the room, being able to hear the ghostly echo of the tape in the other room as well as the one you're supposed to be listening to, or in a seat on the front row which you're convinced is several feet higher than the rest? Wouldn't you have prefered a better seat? Well the only way to get one is to make the teacher's want to give you one. This can be done in several ways, none of which we know. But it probably involves laughing when the teacher does, being quiet when the teacher is, and not complaining when the teacher jumps to one of a hundred pre-conceived conclusions that happen to work against you.